A WIDER BRIDGE

Jerusalem is a religious city, so much of our discussion of LGBT life here is focused on the religious communities of the city, and of Israel in general.  On Sunday night we had a dinner and discussion with Daniel Jonas, Aryeh Krasman and Zehorit Sorek, leaders and representatives of Havruta, an organization for Orthodox gay men, and Bat Kol, Israel’s organization for religious lesbians.  They also spoke about the work of several other related projects: Shoval, an Orthodox LGBT speakers’ bureau and education project, and The Pride Minyan, a group that develops prayer services and holiday celebrations that are designed to be a welcoming place for religious LGBT Jews. They spoke as well about their work in helping to run support groups for Orthodox LGBT teens that are run in conjunction with Israeli Gay Youth.  All of these groups work together as part of a broader collaboration known as Religious LGBT Community or Kehilah Datit Ga’ah.

These leaders shared their personal stories of self-realization and coming out in the Orthodox communities in which they were raised, often long, painful and sometimes humorous struggles, and their vision for change in both the Orthodox world and in Israeli society as a whole. People were moved by the authentic and genuine way the speakers shared their experiences, which reflected so many of the challenges faced by LGBT Orthodox Israelis.

Here is one story: Zehorit described years of denying or explaining away her feelings of attraction for other women, during which time she married a man and became the mother of two children. It was not until she met her now partner Limor that she chose to be honest with herself and ultimately with those close to her.   Once she connected with other Orthodox lesbians through Bat Kol – which she described as “coming home” –she began a journey that led her to become one of the co-founders of the Pride Minyan. There, at their first services on Yom Kippur in 2009 at Tel Aviv’s LGBT Center, people were shocked to find not the 30 they knew they could count on, nor the 100 they hoped for, but some 300 LGBT Israelis – Orthodox and secular – coming together with the shared need for a place to pray that unequivocally welcomed them.

What  the stories of Daniel, Aryeh and Zehorit had in common is that they represent those among the Orthodox world who have had the courage to come out, to be visible, to serve as role models for others, and to insist that they want both to be part of their religious communities and lead lives that express their LGBT identities. Their stories compellingly illustrated the remarkable change that has begun to alter Israeli Orthodox society in just the last few years, giving hope for LGBTQ Jews for a more tolerant, inclusive Israel and Jewish world for everyone.

Our LGBTQ journey began this past Friday in the Negev.  Much like our ancestors, we began our travels in the desert.  Our 20 participants, plus two staff, a guide and a rabbi, had Kabbalat Shabbat inside a Bedouin tent.  And we walked outside to sing L'cha Dodi under a beautiful full moon.  We spent the weekend getting to know each other, since few of us knew the others before this trip began.  We are all ages, genders, from all over the U.S. with different religious practices and observances.  And we are building community with each other. 
Our first shared experience was of the beauty and awe in the desert.  On Shabbat we hiked and prayed along narrow paths and vast expanses, into deep caverns and onto high  plateaus with remarkable vistas spread out before us.   We studied and discussed the meaning of Lech L'cha: Go forth.  And some of us rode camels.  Saturday night we had Havdalah under the stars, and we sat around a campfire and shared the stories of the personal journeys that brought each of us to this trip.  For almost half the group, this is their first time in Israel, for many others, they had not been here for 15, 20 or even 30 years.   So much gratitude was expressed for being able to see Israel as part of an LGBTQ group, and with an  itinerary that focused on providing multiple perspectives on Israel's LGBTQ life and communities.
Sunday morning we began our journey north to Jerusalem.  Along the way, we hiked in a large crater, visited the graves of David and Paula Ben-Gurion, and swam in the Dead Sea.  (And covered ourselves in glorious mud that made our skin feel great!)  By Late Sunday afternoon we were standing on Mount Scopus, looking out over the Old City of Jerusalem, and watching the sun set over the horizon.   We sang a beautiful Shehechiyanu together: How grateful we are to have been brought to this place, at this time, with these people.

Yet this project feels as if it has been underway for some time.   We have already started the process of getting to know the 20 participants, a diverse group from all over the United States.  For many, this will be their first trip to Israel.  For others, a chance to see a familiar country in a new way.   And the participants are just beginning to get to know each other, via e-mail, Facebook and phone calls,  this group that we hope will feel like a community by the time our trip concludes.  The planning of the itinerary, which seeks to provide a broad range of perspectives on LGBT life in Israel, has brought us into closer connection with our partners and friends in Israel.  We are excited to be re-connecting with old friends and building new relationships.   I'll be blogging throughout the trip, so come back and keep reading.